advertisement.sucks
Advertising sucks.
Buy a slot anyway.
Click a slot, or type its code — A1, C4, F8. Click a row letter to take the whole row.
A vending machine with your brand behind the glass. Eye level costs more. The bottom shelf is cheap. Nothing here is subtle and that's the point.
Three steps.
No account.
Pick your slot
Six shelves. Row A is eye level and holds four large slots. Row F is the bottom shelf and holds eight small ones. Price follows the shelf, same as a real store.
Pay for it
Card payment through Stripe. Send a logo and a link. Your product is rendered into the machine's own packaging so the shelf stays coherent.
Hold it, or lose it
Every slot stays open to a higher bid forever. Get outbid and 90% of your last bid comes straight back. The machine is never finished.
Eye level
costs more.
Retailers charge for the shelf at eye height because that's the one people actually see. Same rule, fewer meetings.
Who's in
the machine.
Fair enough.
Is this a real ad buy?
It's a real slot on a real page that real people load. What it isn't is a performance channel — there's no targeting, no impressions report, no attribution. You're buying a visible position on one machine, and the fact that someone can take it from you is most of the appeal.
Why can't I upload my own artwork?
Because one loud banner ruins the shelf for everyone, including you. Send a logo and a name and the machine renders your product in its own packaging. Everything behind the glass looks like it belongs there.
What happens when I'm outbid?
You get 90% of your last bid back and the slot swaps on the page. The 10% is what keeps the machine running and stops people bidding for fun with no cost.
Can I buy a whole row?
Yes. Click the row letter on the left of the machine instead of a single slot. It's priced as the sum of the row plus a premium, and it's the loudest thing you can do here.
Who decides what's allowed?
I do, and I'll say no. No scams, no tokens promising returns, no adult content, nothing aimed at kids. Refused buys get refunded in full.